


On the Road to Hell

by cherryarcade



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Rey gonna get her man, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Fix-It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 08:07:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21950050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherryarcade/pseuds/cherryarcade
Summary: After the events on Exegol, Rey decides that she won't be taking no for an answer when it comes to saving Ben Solo.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 6
Kudos: 39





	On the Road to Hell

Rey had never seen what it looked like when someone became one with the force. She had felt it, of course, with Luke and then with Leia. It was a searing pain, like a limb being ripped away from you and then immediately being hit with a medpac. Their life force spilling out into the world but their spirit rejoining the great cosmic force. It was painful but then there was peace. It didn’t feel like death, just another transition to some other plane. And Rey could feel okay, knowing they were still around in some way. 

Watching Ben’s body fade was an entirely different sort of pain. It wasn’t a limb being ripped from her, but her heart. It was crushing and suffocating and she kept waiting for the injection of peace, for the calm to spread through the force to her, but there was nothing. Silently, she waited, and waited, and when nothing came, nothing to soothe the storm, she reached out in the force, searching for him, willing him to be with her like the Jedi of the past had before. 

She couldn’t feel him at all. 

He was gone from this plane and the next.

The silence cracked with a wail, and she sat up and looked around before realizing the anguished noise had come from her own lips. Her throat was tight, her body was shaking, and the neckline of her clothes were soaked from the hot tears that had spilled from her eyes. She’d never cried like this. Her eyes had wet before, emotion had poured from them before, vision had blurred before, but not like this.

Never like this.

She gave herself over to the grief, falling the ground, pressing her face against their fabric of his shirt that had clung to his body before it faded into nothingness. The sobs came louder and louder, her throat running raw with the emotion of her pain. Her body quaked as her hands pounded the floor, the dust and dirt turning to mud against the tides of tears. 

And then there was nothing. 

A defense mechanism kicked in and the numbness began. Numb to the force, numb to the spirits within it, and numb to the absence of Ben amongst it all. She wiped the tears away, and somehow managed to stand through the weakness in her legs. She didn’t remember the walk back to the X-wing or even the flight back to the base. Though the smiles she gave to her friends were genuine, it was apparent to anyone who knew her well enough that she wasn’t as okay as she was pretending to be.

***

It wasn’t long until Finn sought her out. 

“Something is wrong.”

She gave a pained laugh before tears started to prick at the corner of her eyes. “Everything is wrong,” she admitted. “I died,” she said, quickly raising her hand to stop Finn before he could say anything. It wasn’t time for that yet. “He brought me back. Ben did. I was dead and he transferred all of his life force into me.”

“All of it?” 

Rey’s bottom lip quaked as the tears spilled out again. “All of it. I watched him… die, I guess. I don’t know. He just faded away. And I can’t even feel him in the force the way I feel Luke and Leia. He’s just gone.”

“You love him,” Finn said, not as a question. 

She lowered her head for a moment, her eyes closed, and a smile crossed her face.. “Yes. Is it that obvious?”

“No, not really.” He paused, the air heavy with something unsaid. “I can feel it. Your love. Your sadness. Rey, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you this whole time. I can feel things in the force. I felt you die. I felt you come back. And then I get these gut feelings, where I just know something and I’ve been thinking and searching for answers and I think I finally understand. I think I’m like you. I think I’m force sensitive.” 

Rey’s smile returned, happy for her friend, happy that they could share this, but there was something sad about moving on from the conversation about Ben. It was like they were forgetting him. But what could Finn understand about the loss she was feeling, even if he could sense it? “That’s wonderful. I can train you as a Jedi, if you want.”

“Oh,” he replied. “Uh, no. I appreciate the offer, but I’m not that much like you. I’m not a Jedi, I’m just someone who can sense things.”

She gave him another smile. “Everyone has the potential to be force sensitive. The force is all around us, always there. It isn’t just for the Jedi - everyone can access it. Most people choose not to, whether they realize it or not. You’re one of the extraordinary people who’s opened yourself to it. You don’t have to be a Jedi if you don’t want. But surely I can train you in some part of it.”

“Sure, that would be awesome. But I’ll never be able to do what you could, Rey.”

“I’m sure you could!” she persisted. “With training. I’ve been training for over a year. I’m sure we could get you there.”

Finn smiled but shook his head. “I’m going to be pretty busy helping all of the First Order Stormtroopers break their conditioning. Some of these guys are heavily indoctrinated. We’re going to give them names and jobs and help them live their lives in a post-First Order world. We’re going to try and find their families if they’re still out there.” He placed a hand on her shoulder in a moment of reassurance. “Plus, I get the feeling that there’s something else you want to do besides staying here and teaching me how to swing a laser sword. You do what you need to do and we’ll be here for you.” 

Rey gave him a nod and a half smile. He was right. There was still much she wanted to do. And she wanted to get started soon. 

***

That night, alone in her room, the tears came again, but there was no sadness this time, only anger. Anger at Palpatine for creating this whole situation, for targeting Ben his whole life, for manipulating him until he had no choice but to become a tool for the machinations of the Sith. 

Anger at Han and Leia and Luke for not doing more for Ben, for not supporting him the way they’d supported her. For knowing the truth about her past and not telling her. 

Anger at herself because surely there was something she could have done. If she’d been stronger, maybe? If she’d learned enough. If she’d tried harder. Maybe she should have taken his hand after he killed Snoke and they fought the guards. Yes, he was still heavily vested in the dark side but maybe they could have figured it out together.

Anger at the force for bringing them together, for connecting them, for taking him away before she had the chance to try.

Anger at Ben for taking so long to come around, for aligning himself with Palpatine in the first place. Anger at Ben for choosing her life over his. 

She gave into the anger as she bolted into the forest, primal screams coming from deep within the heart of it, trees crashing to the ground as a tantrum overtook her. She couldn’t even make eye contact with Rose as she skulked back into the living quarters, but the commander was no fool. 

“Rey,” she said softly, stopping the Jedi in her tracks. “Finn, he… he told me what happened.”

For a moment another flash of anger crossed Rey’s face. How dare Finn tell people her story. Ben’s story. But the anger quickly faded. This was Rose after all, a woman who Rey had come to be fond of. A woman who maybe her friend was quite fond of. Of course he’d tell her. Besides, after what Ben had done for her, the truth needed to be said.

Rey gave a sad nod to Rose. “I’m glad you know,” she said. 

“Look, Rey, if you need to talk about this or anything,” Rose started, taking a step towards the other girl. 

This was too much for Rey. Too much openness, too much vulnerability. It wasn’t as if she didn’t like Rose, she just wasn’t feeling up to ripping open these wounds again. “No, no, you know, I’m fine. It’s fine really. Thank you for the offer. That’s so kind of you, but I’m fine. I should really get to bed. Goodnight, Rose.”

And with that, she slipped away to her room, leaving Rose with the rest of her sentence hanging on her lips.

***

There was a celebration the next day, to mark the end of the war - for the most part. There were still pockets of First Order vessels out in the galaxy but with no leader and much of the resources directed towards the now destroyed Final Order, they would easily be taken out by the fleet that Lando Calrissian had raised in Leia’s name. 

People were giving speeches, to speak of fallen comrades, to cheerfully remind people of what they fought for. 

Poe spoke on Snap Wexley, doing his best to bring comfort and peace to Snap’s widow, Karé. 

Commander D'Acy’s speech about General Organa brought the crowd to tears. 

Rose rounded out the speeches by highlighting the numerous others that gave their lives to bring hope to the galaxy once again.

The speeches went on for what seemed like hours, until someone finally suggested that Rey give one. Though few of them knew of the battles that Rey had been a part of, it seemed many of them wanted to hear what she’d seen. She wanted to refuse. She wanted to say that there was no joy or celebration in what she’d been through. But instead she stood up to tell her story - to tell Ben’s story. 

As she stood on the stage, she took a second, a brief moment to gather her thoughts before suddenly something thrummed to life in her chest. Though the grief was still there, the heaviness still weighing her down, there was something electric coursing through her now. It felt like hope.

And it was everything she needed to tell the resistance the truth. 

“The war would not have been won without Ben Solo - who many of you knew as Kylo Ren. Though he was the Supreme Leader of the First Order, he shed that moniker, that title and the dark side with it to help me face Palpatine. I would not be standing here alive today if it were not for his sacrifices - he saved me, saved my life, and stood up against the darkest evil the galaxy has ever seen. He died bravely and selflessly. He would have made his parents - Han Solo and Leia Organa - proud. Ben died as a Jedi, and no story of how the day was won should be told without that truth. When you leave here, when you disperse through the stars to go home and share your stories of war, please don’t forget him. Don’t leave him out. Tell the whole galaxy that Ben Solo was a hero.” 

She could feel the edges of her eyes start to sting, so she quickly hopped off the platform, a newfound determination in her bones.

Poe tried to stop her on her way off the platform, but she couldn’t hear him. Instead she ran to her room, resolute. 

Her heart nearly stopped when she realized there was something new lying on her bed. 

She moved closer and realized with certainty that is was the crossguard saber. Ben’s saber.

“Ben?” 

Frantically she looked around the room, reaching out in the force to search for him.

Still nothing.

Why was there still nothing? 

It was like he was somewhere else, not here, not in the cosmic force, but rather some other plane of existence that she couldn’t reach.

In a flash, she felt in her heart exactly what she needed to do. She left a short note, telling Finn that she’d be back when she finished her own personal mission. Grabbing Ben’s saber, as well as Luke’s and Leia’s, she packed up her things and hightailed it to the falcon, taking one last look at the cheerful celebration before setting out into the sky.

She nearly jumped out of her skin when BB-8 asked her where they were going. 

“What are you doing here?” she asked. 

_I followed you. Why did we leave?_ The droid chirped back.

“I’ve got something important I’ve got to do. But we’ll come back soon, okay? Are you ready for an adventure?” 

_Okay!_

And that was that.

***

She probably could have taken a speeder to the Lars Homestead rather than the Falcon once she’d gotten directions from a Rodian in Mos Eisley, but for some reason, it felt right to bring it there. She explored the home where Master Luke had grown up, where he’d spent his years blissfully unaware of the horrible lineage he possessed. 

She spent the better part of a day there before the next feeling took over. Spotting a tool box under decades of dust, Rey pulled out some tools - still in remarkably good condition - and sat down to get to work. Taking her staff apart, taking Ben’s old saber apart, she quickly combined what she could. 

She’d never built a saber before, but something inside of her guided every step of the process, every movement of her hand felt like someone else helping her. And as night fell, she was able to turn on her newly built staff saber for the first time. Angry red and crackling, it still held the scars of Kylo Ren. But scars could heal - just like Ben’s had. 

For three days she meditated over the crystal, trying to heal it through the force, trying to create something new through something broken. She struggled against the force of the darkness in the crystal, something fighting back against her attempts to purge it from the kyber. Sweat beaded on her face as she raged a battle of wills with the saber until finally she felt a give in the force. 

She’d defeated the darkness. 

Turning the saber on, it roared to life, a pale yellow, the beam smooth again as the cracks finally healed. She felt something within her smile, and her own visage mirrored it. Her staff and Ben’s healed crystal. This saber was theirs. Something that belonged to them and only them - even if he wasn’t here.

But someone was. She couldn’t tell who, and the sensation in the force was blurry, like looking through the glass on the X-wings in the ship graveyard of Jakku. The thought struck her - She couldn’t save Ben because he wasn’t on any plane she could reach, but the spirits, they had to know where he was. They had to be able to find him and bring him back.

She crossed her legs as she sat on the floor, calling out to the old Jedi. “Be with me,” she said. “I need your help. I need you to bring back Ben. Please. He died a hero and he deserves his chance to live.” 

With me, she wanted to add, but a Jedi could not be selfish that way.

There was no answer.

“Be with me,” she willed again, but the spirits would not answer the call. 

“Please,” she began to beg. “I’ll do anything. I’ll trade my life for his. I’ll find any artefact you want.” By now, the tears had begun to form, and her voice cracked as she uttered her third and final “Please.”

“Not like this, Rey,” she heard a woman’s voice say. She’d heard it once before, when she called to the spirits on Exegol. 

Not like this? 

She quickly scrambled to her feet, grabbing the pair of blue lightsabers and storming her way outside. Softly, carefully, she placed the sabers to the ground, burying them deep. She wasn’t the last force sensitive person in the galaxy, and protecting the only other known sabers would be a good way to keep them safe for now. Until they would be needed again. She had work she needed to do, and she couldn’t very well carry these sabers around with her while she did it. What if they fell into the wrong hands?

Not like this, the voice had said. 

It meant there was a way. There was some other way. Somewhere out there was a pathway to bringing back Ben, and she was determined to find it, no matter the cost because he deserved to live. He deserved to be free. She ignited her saber, defiant of the forces that dared to keep them apart.

She was so consumed by her new found determination, she was barely aware of the woman who had now appeared in front of her, asking her name. 

“Rey,” she had stated, so used to that being her only identifier, before sensing a presence in the force. From the distance, a hazy vision of Luke and Leia appeared to her, beaming and proud. Did they know what she intended to do? Were they giving her their blessing to fight for Ben’s life? Resolute, she turned back to the woman to add a newly chosen surname. “Skywalker.” 

“I knew a Skywalker once. Little Ani. I wonder what became of him.”

“He became a hero. A jedi. As did his son and daughter. And his grandson.”

“Oh,” the woman replied, unimpressed. “Well, that’s nice.” And with no other questions, she turned her beast around and left. 

The sky darkened, as sunset drew, and Rey was pulled in by the dance of the binary suns. Two bright lights, together forever. Like she and Ben should have spent their remaining days.

 _No,_ she corrected herself. How they would spend their remaining days, as soon as she figured out how to save him. 

“Skywalker?” she heard a deep voice ask, painted with amusement. “After all we’ve done for you, you take my Uncle Luke’s name?”

She spun on her heels, the sand grinding beneath her feet. 

“Ben?”

“Sort of.”

“What are you doing here? How are you here?” Rey asked, eyes wide, mouth hanging open.

“Well,” he replied with a smile. “I’m very hard to get rid of.”

**Author's Note:**

> The title is a reference to Hadestown which is a musical about Orpheus and Eurydice... which is what we're doing here.
> 
> This is my first ever story on A03 so uhhhhh good luck to me, I guess.


End file.
